I have been really thinking about what I take away from the YMG. I wanted to state nice and clearly what I found useful, what I didn’t and what I need to do with it.
Firstly, let’s get the negatives out of the way.
- I didn’t do all I wanted to do, partly due to tiredness, partly because of health issues. I felt that I was letting my Meeting down by not being able to report on everything.
- I found being so far out of the campus a problem, and there were problems with the accommodation itself.
- I felt lonely – or more properly I was expecting to feel more lonely as the week went on. I was aware that most people would be as busy as I was and I did not see that they would have time or the inclinations to spend time with me.
- I was very worried about what I would do about money.
- I did not have the internet access that I expected.
- At the start of the week the home group sessions were not very good (though they improved with time).
What I found useful or fun
- I reaffirmed my faith
- I reaffirmed my belief in Quaker business methods
- I saw Quakers take a brave and right decision, and saw how lovingly we treated those who were not with us
- I felt the Spirit move us several times
- I spent some very enjoyable time on a narrow-boat with new friends
- I enjoyed the company of Friends old and new
- I found about about Friends from all over the World
- I found out what Friends House does in our name
- I learnt some very interesting facts, heard about new ideas and found a couple of techniques.
- I saw a brilliant film (The age of stupid)
- I enjoyed a concert produced by Friends
- I learnt a few new songs
- If I go with the flow (as we eventually did in our Home group) things usually work out
What I will take from the Gathering
- Firstly I think that I must be more disciplined about my silent times.
- I think I should have more confidence in my ‘belonging’. I am no longer a ‘newbie’ in Friends. I have sufficient knowledge and experience to start seeing myself as a ‘proper’ Quaker. I should be more open, perhaps, about my leadings, as it says in one of the A&Qs that has never held much significance to me:
Take heed, dear Friends, to the promptings of love and truth in your hearts. Trust them as the leadings of God whose Light shows us our darkness and brings us to new life.
- I need to fill in my yellow form and stop waiting for someone to suggest what I might be good at. I have something to offer, and I know what I am interested in.
- I need to ask for help when I need it.
- I need to get over my negativity around the Bible – I heard some things at YMG which inspired me. I don’t need to accept all of it, but to take what inspires.
- I need to get back on my diet – I am not sure if some of the joint pain might be because I changed my diet to an unhealthy one. I certainly feel more awake and better physically since I got some fruit, vegetables and fish inside me! I haven’t dared to weigh myself since I got home, but I need to do so.
- I was blessed to be part of YMG and I now need to share that blessing with my Local and Area Meeting. I need to be inspiring!
I haven’t blogged about Friday yet, because my PC threw a wobbly on the last night as I tried to log in. When I rebooted I found that the settings for York Uni’s network had been corrupted. Somehow though I was initially annoyed, I was able to cope with it as a very minor distraction, and just got on with my packing and got ready to leave.
(I have removed the photo that was posted in this space).
What I would have said was this:
Friday started with no breakfast crowd, and I wanted company so I decided to go to the Galleria restaurant, which I had discovered did teas for cash so decided to see if it was open. there I would surely find Friends to chat with. It was open, but not for the likes of me, it seemed – only those on half board were served there. I found a cafe that did breakfasts, but ate alone.
I found my way back to central hall with plenty of time to take my place in the meeting to hear the draft minute of yesterday’s discussion on Committed Relationships. I found myself in tears at the end, when the fervent ‘I hope so’s ended the discussion and we moved on to the other subject – climate change. We did not have any where near enough time, but at least a start has been made.
I spent much of my lunchtime collecting additions to the Quaker Chain, though I was a little poorly – my fault entirely, I had taken painkillers for my back which caused me to feel very dizzy and a little nauseous. The chain was growing and I was delighted to see this. Because I was feeling a little rough I took a break and then joined the afternoon and concluding YM in session. We had reports (minutes?) from each group of Young Friends – including the ‘Wild Strawberries’, ‘Fidgetty Frogs’ and the ‘Fibre Optics’. It was wonderful, though a Friend complained later in home group about the children storming the stage, I did not see a problem with it.
When it came to any other business, I felt nostalgic for the start of the YMG. Strange how I was ready to leave at one point and then all my worries melted away. I miss my partner so much, but I could have gone on for another few days (if only he had been there).
The final home group was wonderful too. I had not felt that home group had gone well when we started it. We did as suggested and started with icebrekers and exercises to introduce Friends to each other, and one Friend complained bitterly about this – she was tired, she said, and just wanted to sit down and chat.the next day did not fare much better, she complained that there had already been response groups and she did not want directed chat. I felt that my co-facilitator and I were under fire for doing what we had been advised to do, and what we felt was appropriate. On Thursday and Friday we just left it to the group and it went fairly well. At the end of the week, at the last session, it felt that we were indeed a home group, and we hugged and felt good together.
Then supper – my sandwich I had made and a gentle stroll around, chatting with people, until I bumped into Peter. We went for an indepth discussion about the Forum, and I feel really happy about this. I have ‘TASKS’ to do.
Another stroll about – in such contrast to the rushing about I did at the start of YM. I took a few more photos, and then it was time to find the ‘concert’. It was called Open Majk because it was run by Majk (pronounced Mike) – a very lovely, gentle and extrememly talented man. Ask him to sing you his Ten Constipated Men song; very funny! He was a great help to me with carrying my bag. The concert was great fun – with topical sketches, songs and instrumentals. Then came the epilogue after which I sauntered to the car via several conversations with Friends to go back and pack.
Now that the minute has been accepted I can freely write about it. The minute can be read here.
On Friday morning there was a large turnout, as to be expected. We sat quietly whilst the Clerk read out the draft minute. I was amazed at the beauty of the minute: the clerks had so clearly discerned the feeling of the Meeting. There were changes and clarifications but the minute was not changed much at all.
Those who read this blog and are not familiar with the Quaker practice may be surprised to learn that Friends do not vote on such matters – we wait until the meeting is in unity, and the clerks discern when this has happened and what the feeling of the meeting is. It is an incredible process and the most incredible thing about it is that it works. I feel blessed to be part of that process. As I said later, I have never said more fervently, “I hope so”. (to quote wikipedia: ‘during a meeting for worship for business, when the clerk asks those present if they agree with a minute, Friends will usually say “I hope so” rather than “yes”. It is meant in the sense of “I hope that this is the true guidance of the Holy Spirit” ‘)
The news was carried to the media somehow (oh, I checked that I had said nothing in my blog!) and peter Eccles was on radio 4 saying that it was ‘almost certain’ that the word marriage would be used.
So, Quakers now will witness the marriage of same sex couples, in line with our testimony to Equality. It is, as some Friends said, about time.
What a magical experience this was. After the experience of the minute and all the other things, this was in some ways the culmination of the week, a gentle taking of leave from F(f)riends old and new.
As we came out of the show organised by Majk and walked towards the bridge we could hear soft voices singing. We took our places in soft rain and joined with the singing , though we didn’t know the words. The song was a canon, a round, and it drifted across the water so that from
different parts of the lake we heard different lines. Though I didn’t know it, I was soon able to sing a couple of lines. No one sang loudly – softness seemed instinctive. The song was (I Googled it):