On Thursday I heard that a Friend from our meeting had been taken to hospital, and his partner had a fractured wrist. This Friend is a lovely person, one of the spiritual stalwarts of our Meeting. When I first met him I was convinced that I had seen him on Tv as a comedian or something. He has a rare sense of humour, a really dry wit. I really like this man – in fact I love all of our small Meeting. He had been transferred from the local hospital to the one I work at, so I determined to go and see him.
Friday at work was horrendous – back-to-back training sessions with the only opportunity for a toilet break to actually stop the one-hour session mid way. I had a 20 minute lunch break because another trainer came in and covered for me and I spent most of it fielding questions and phone calls and trying to find out what ward the Friend was in. I finished almost an hour later than I had planned, and rang the appropriate ward to find that the doctors and nurses were treating him, but that I could wait.
When I got to the ward I waited as patiently as I could. Naturally I was asked about passwords (this is what happens if you wear an IT badge) and there was one point where one of the nurses was trying to do something on the PC and I offered to help, then realised that there is no way that I could – for reasons of confidentiality.
I waited around for almost an hour before I got in to see our Friend: he was hooked up to an oxygen machine and his hands were attached to drips and other things. He seemed keen, very keen to communicate something, but the oxygen mask made it impossible. I held his hand for a minute or two but there was little I could say, and I felt that he was disturbed and frustrated by not being able to communicate. he kept trying to grab the mask, but his hands wouldn’t reach. I felt that it would have been better had I not gone in some ways, as I was only making it worse for him. I have been wondering since whether I did the right thing – was it selfish of me to go and see him?
I have since heard that he has taken a turn for the worse, his family has been called.
I am feeling very worried and annoyed at myself at the moment.